do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
