I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
