the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
