...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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