the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
