He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
