This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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