Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
