I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
