in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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