im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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