dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
