grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
