I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
