How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
They took my balls.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
