I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
