He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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