She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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