i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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