he puts the penis in happiness.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize