So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
