Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
