I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize