She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize