After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
