we made out on top of his cat.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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