turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
