I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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