there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
