I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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