You're so nebulous sometimes
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
