Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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