shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
