I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
