Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
