her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have demons in me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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