you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
