I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
