No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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