Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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