Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
barbara walters just said penis...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize