Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
