it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
