So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
