Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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