i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
