Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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