But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
