i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
