This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize