we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she told me i tasted like america
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize