he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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