Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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