I'm lost and stupid without you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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