Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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