the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
