Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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