It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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