Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
