Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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